Blog | Joshua Helmer

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Sep 23, 2020
4 min

I'm going to fix everything in Autumn 2020

September carries us from one country to another. It opens with days that seem to stretch its arms out, grasping at the trailing ends of ...

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Why the staff at my local Wilko are the true heroes of 2020...

joshuahelmer

Aug 6, 2020
4 min

Why the staff at my local Wilko are the true heroes of 2020...

What if you've got to cut back an intrusive weed that has somehow ruined the supplies for your home brew wine project? Wilko has you covered

29 views0 comments

This is a dystopia, please pass the Soylent Green™

joshuahelmer

Jul 28, 2020
5 min

This is a dystopia, please pass the Soylent Green™

"Like a good son who doesn't currently have a job and thus has no excuse to stay at home midweek, I took a train to London"

51 views0 comments

joshuahelmer

Jun 25, 2020
5 min

The rare nonsense of common sense...

Why are we like this? Seriously, what's our fucking problem?

124 views0 comments

joshuahelmer

May 5, 2020
6 min

How I wrote a novel in lockdown

I can only imagine the disgusting number of chip butties I would have consumed in lockdown were it not for...

173 views0 comments

Is your lock down routine turning you into an mutant?

joshuahelmer

Apr 21, 2020
6 min

Is your lock down routine turning you into an mutant?

As a ubiquitous TV program once stated - "If outside is so good, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?"

65 views0 comments

joshuahelmer

Jan 10, 2020
8 min

The Age of Empathy

I have a new job as a door-to-door charity fundraiser (yes, I'm that guy right now) and, other than the toll it's taking on my feet, it's...

66 views0 comments

joshuahelmer

Oct 14, 2019
1 min

Am I famous now?

I did my first ever radio interview last week and we actually talked about little old me and the things I'm doing. It was so bizarre, I'v...

15 views0 comments

joshuahelmer

Sep 10, 2019
4 min

A Pride of Straights

I hope I can fairly call myself an ally to the LGBTQI+ community. I have friends who would identify themselves under that banner and I su...

121 views0 comments

The 15 Greatest Football Shirt Sponsors of All Time

joshuahelmer

Jul 25, 2019
9 min

The 15 Greatest Football Shirt Sponsors of All Time

Everyone remembers the good old days. I certainly do. I'm not sure when they started but I've got a feeling they ended around the time th...

65 views0 comments

joshuahelmer

Jul 24, 2019
3 min

Eyes closed, head first, can't lose.

Boris Johnson is our prime minister. That's a sad thing to write. Today I built my new website and got myself a decent hair cut (somethin...

46 views1 comment

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